Thursday, March 24, 2011

I know, cry me a river, right?

So I'm going to Seattle next Thursday. All by myself. Actually, not technically by myself. Nintendo is flying out a plethora of brand ambassadors something. I dunno, it's all very secretive. I know it has to do with the Nintendo 3DS, but I've compiled a list of tests for Noah to perform when I get back—like asking me questions I shouldn't know the answers to, such as "What's 7 times 8?" and "What's the capitol of South Dakota?"—to make sure that they haven't messed with my brain or experimented on me with new nanobot technology.

The point is, I'm pretty sure I don't know anybody else who's going, not even digitally. I know of plenty of them, because they're sort of Internet niche celebrities. As is my way, I will now proceed to view these people as Cooler Than Me, unapproachable, and consequently potentially trailed by a bodyguard ready to punch anyone in the neck who tries to approach and isn't on the Approved Approach List.

I don't think I'm a socially awkward person. I mean, it's normal to scratch your butt and pick your nose in public, right? And conversation wouldn't be genuine if I spoke through the filters of Tact and Social Grace.

Okay, so I definitely up my personal hygiene regimen and avoid words like "poo poo" and "tooter" when I'm around people older than 3, but I do become exhausted by mingling. (Also browsing, but I digress.) I guess I've just gotten used to Noah being my social crutch, Mr. I'm-a-Police-Officer-So-I-Know-How-to-Approach-Strangers-and-Talk-to-Them-Without-Feeling-Like-a-Twit. I'm certain these folks are perfectly nice and this Nintendo thing will be a blast and I can't believe my good fortune in being selected as a Brand Ambassador.

I guess the best thing to do to prepare for this is to practice smizing.


Locusts and Wild Honey said...

Jeez, I'm falling in love with myself! Oh how often does that happen?!

You're going to be great! And trust me, these fancy Inner-net ladies should be so lucky as to meet the likes of you. You say "tooter" a lot. What could be cooler?

magnolia said...

ah, the joys (?) of networking and similar events. the legal job market basically forced me to get over myself and revamp my whole approach to these things. it's the communication equivalent of being thrown into the ocean and being expected to learn to swim.

i have to do two things: a) treat everyone in the room as if i am their equal (while still maintaining appropriate deference) and b) talk confidently through unbelievable nerves.

once again proving my theory: life is, in so many ways, just like sorority rush. at least there aren't songs at these things...

stephanie said...

that is super awesome - congrats on being chosen!

p.s. can i be your bodyguard & tag along? :)

Jack said...

As I said on Twitter, I think that it should be a lot of fun. I am looking forward to meeting everyone.